Well first of all I want to state that although the step mother of your wife is helping you all out is great, but she will not have any legal rights in regards to the decition the court would make in regaeds to your child. There are several options open to both you and the mother. You can both agree that the child live with you while she is in boot camp,,however this is hard because when your in the service you never are in one place for any long period of time,that can be of great concern not only for the mother but for you. The child needs a permanent home and if your wife joins the service she should really consider giving you custody of the child. She will still be able to have set visitations although it is hard once she leaves for the service,but I am sure you would not stop the mother from seeing her child when she could. You both could also consider maybe holding off on the divorce until she is out of boot camp,then decide what you both want to do.
she will then know more of what might be in the best interest of the child once she see's what the service is like and learns more information on where she may be going after boot camp. The service will require information as to what she is going to do in regards to the care of her child before she can go into the service. This is hard for me to give you alot of information because first of all she has to be approved to go into the service,so she might want to do that first,see if she passe's the test she will be required to take. I also noticed that you were wondering if the step mothers helping you to raise the child would make a difference with the court and you have to know that the it is up to you alone to be able to take care of your child,if you get custody and your wife goes into the service you will be getting child support. To make this simple and less confusing what you and your wife need to do is decide what you both want regardless of her plans of wanting to join the service. I would sujest that she go ahead and apply now to join and if she is excepted then you both can decide on if you want to wait until she is out of boot camp before divorcing so the child can be taken care of by you and she won't have to go though custody arrangements prior to going into the service. If she does not get accepted in the service then and still wants a divorce then you both can file for a non contested divorce and get joint custody that would be in the best interest of your child. I hope this makes since to you it would be sad to make any decitions as imporant as the best interest of your child on what may or may not happen as far as your wife getting into the service.